WALL OF POETRY

I’ve realized something important;

It doesn’t matter how miserable my life has been

Stop re-opening the wounds

Life goes on whether I want it to or not

As long as I've accomplished something

And the world knows my name,

What is the point of dwelling in the past?

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You seem to be enjoying this aren’t you,

A simple sliver of masochism 

You love seeing my blood boil

And my veins get hot 

The piercing words that will come out of my mouth

Begging you to leave me alone

You’re a sadist, aren’t you?

I hope you enjoy it;

Convincing yourself of your own sanity 

Narcissism doesn’t seem fun

Doesn’t it?

I bet your life is hard, 

When you’re willing to hear me insult your every being

Just to fulfill something within you,

That wants to be abused

I hope you enjoy it because this is your last time

You’ll hear me curse you and the world

Because I'm so close, to leaving you in my past

Where your narcissism belongs,

You’re masochistic

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It is not real, it is like a reality that is virtual;

And nothing exists

Because my brain does not believe it,

Under any circumstance 

And because my thoughts are obfuscated …

There is no reality that tells me otherwise

Because my reality is created by myself 

Henceforth,

It is the only thing I will create in my world of 

Distortion and impending doom 

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I wish the best for you,

Maybe one day you can fill the void in your heat

Maybe one day, you can be satisfied with yourself

Possibly, one day you can see yourself in the mirror

And see that I saw nothing wrong with you

One day, you can let go of envy

And see someone could love you,

For you

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Where am I expecting to go?

If I simply never change

I put the same implication into the world, 

And it's the same outcome

And I assume everyone will be the same

All I assume is, that it will be the same outcome,

Each and every time

And I realize this,

But I never change

I repeat the same thoughts,

I repeat the same actions

And I wrote this,

Because I never change

It’s ironic, because the thoughts, I wrote down

Did not change

I’m sitting here wanting to change,

Maybe If I want to change,

That’s different 

I think I have to change

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The rigid fences, and the deep contrast in the sky

The man was in wry

The angular buildings in the distance

The outline of a man

Laying back, in his rocking chair

Back and forth, full of anxiety

In limerance, he comes to the conclusion it used to be clear

Now full of fear

The smoke that fills the atmosphere will

Adhere to your lungs

He continues to stare and watch,

Watching for the fog to dissipate 

But as time goes by, and the oxygen depletes 

His will to see it changing is in a state of sedate 

He comes to the conclusion 

There is no other way of life

In these empty fields except for a state of desolate 

And he’ll sit here day by day,

Watching for the atmosphere to change, alone

He’ll sit here, every single day, in the same exact place, watching the same fog, exit the same building day by day

And to the man’s dismay,

He and the environment he sits in, a coalesce of terror and fright

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I know who I am,

Who are you?

I don’t derive my sense of self from other people

It’s from myself, me, who I am

I know what I like to do,

Who I am,

My hobbies, passions, 

Who are you?

Do you know who you are?

Or you want to sit behind that mask

And chop up everyone’s reality into bits

To make your perceived reality, fit in that little box,

Inside of your head?

Don’t worry, it’ll be fine for me

Because when I left you, I always knew who I am

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I remember the things people say, I remember everything

I remember how it felt,

And every single word has a feeling

Every millisecond of life has a feeling

Some might say, feelings are nothing but an expression;

They are not physical, 

But I see the words, and things people say

And they strike me to the core

I can forget, but I can never forget how it felt

When someone experiences that emotion

I felt it as if it was my own

I can see through the eyes of a psychopath

And its empty

But some people don’t understand the way I feel

And most won't because I see a feeling in everything

Even in objects

It scares me because I don’t know what is going on

I don’t understand why anything or everything exists

I’m too stupid to fix the world’s problems