Fear of rejection
You’ll never hear this,
I don’t know where you are in your life
I really fucked up
I fucked up badly
I was emotionally unavailable,
Preoccupied with rejection
I could never see outside myself and empathize with you
I acted like I was cold hearted
Acting like nothing hurt me
But deep inside, I was soft as hell
I acted like there was nothing in me, and I died
Because I was scared other people would kill me
I see the reason everything turned out the way it did
I was stone cold in front of your face,
But I would cry over you at night
I still do
I was too scared to let anyone see me as the way I was
I thought everyone was the same, they would fake who they are
I trusted no one, not even myself
I ran around driving myself crazy
I didn't know who I was
I did things I regret, and I wondered why you ran as fast as I did
We were kind of the same, preoccupied with rejection,
I still am, we both played a game of who cared less
That’s why I wrote this and will never bother letting you read this
Hopefully you forgot me, because I’m honestly ashamed for what I've done to you
I don’t really know who you are, but this is who I am
Someone too scared to tell someone how they really feel
I promise I was never like this,
You would probably like the old me
I think about you all the time, but I doubt you care about me
Whatever, I’ll probably move on eventually, but it’s been a while and I still think about you
Yeah who am I kidding, it’s a defense mechanism, I’ll never forget about you
Remember if you never try, you’ll never be rejected; that's the way I live my life