Fear of rejection

You’ll never hear this,

I don’t know where you are in your life

I really fucked up 

I fucked up badly

I was emotionally unavailable,

Preoccupied with rejection

I could never see outside myself and empathize with you

I acted like I was cold hearted

Acting like nothing hurt me

But deep inside, I was soft as hell

I acted like there was nothing in me, and I died

Because I was scared other people would kill me

I see the reason everything turned out the way it did 

I was stone cold in front of your face,

But I would cry over you at night

I still do

I was too scared to let anyone see me as the way I was

I thought everyone was the same, they would fake who they are

I trusted no one, not even myself

I ran around driving myself crazy

I didn't know who I was

I did things I regret, and I wondered why you ran as fast as I did

We were kind of the same, preoccupied with rejection,

I still am, we both played a game of who cared less

That’s why I wrote this and will never bother letting you read this

Hopefully you forgot me, because I’m honestly ashamed for what I've done to you

I don’t really know who you are, but this is who I am

Someone too scared to tell someone how they really feel

I promise I was never like this,

You would probably like the old me

I think about you all the time, but I doubt you care about me

Whatever, I’ll probably move on eventually, but it’s been a while and I still think about you

Yeah who am I kidding, it’s a defense mechanism, I’ll never forget about you

Remember if you never try, you’ll never be rejected; that's the way I live my life